bad friend. bad

I woke up this morning to an e-mail from a friend in Buffalo. I've known him since high school, and although we aren't as close as we used to be, hey, people drift. Especially when years and geographic distance are involved. At any rate, my last correspondence with this friend was sending him and his wife a gift card in December, as they'd just returned home from Colombia with an adopted baby boy. All was well, or so I thought.

Today I got a nice wake up call in the form of a ripping, sarcastic message for not calling or writing to make sure the family was okay in the wake of the plane crash near Buffalo. The operative word here is "near." Anyone who knows me knows I am a news junkie and I pay attention to details. The plane fell on one singular house in a suburb of Buffalo, and my friend and his family live inside the city proper. The plane didn't take out an entire neighborhood, let alone wreak the kind of damage an earthquake or hurricane can do to a region. It involved one freaking house in a huge metro area.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying this was not a tragedy. I am not the heartless bastard many of you think. I am saddened whenever I learn of something like this, and putting the families of those lost [and their reactions] on television is especially painful. In fact, it is wrong. People should be allowed to grieve in private.

That said, I never had any reason for concern that my friend or his wife or son might have been affected by this tragedy, and so I went on with my life and my thoughts as I always do. And then I awake this morning to a knife through my computer monitor, as if I am lower than scum. And believe me, I felt low. I felt fucking terrible, but, at that point, what could I do?

This is exactly why I say I'm done with people. You can be riding along in your own little pod and get blasted out of the blue by another person's drama or bad day or whatever. You'll never even see it coming. Which is not to say I'm above creating drama myself, but damn. Why does every little action, or inaction, have to be taken as a personal affront? Whatever happened to peace, love, and understanding?

I love my friends, but not today.